So, it's been seven whole months since I've last updated this thing...time has flooooooooooooooown by. And LOTS of things have happened in those 7 months that I've been gone.

First of all, I finished my freshman year in college and absolutely loved it! In fact I loved it so much that I cried when i moved out. Marco, my boyfriend of about 2 1/2 years, moved down to Newport News and now has his own apartment and full time job with a company called Ferguson. He has also lost at least 30 pounds! This is because he uses only his bike and legs to get around. If you look at one of the first pictures in my gallery ( [link] ), you'll see what he used to look like...and look at him now [link] ! I'm really proud of him...he's making it on his own. So now that I've come home for summer break, I started working again at Petsmart but then found a photo studio and interviewed for the job. I got it! I work there now full time, and I just shot a wedding on saturday. It's been a lot of stress though so I'm looking forward to that ending...plus I've realized that studio photography is not my thing, I prefer spontaneous/nature photography. I can't wait to move back down to school.

On the sad side...one of the reasons I cried when I left college was because my mom came with my dad to pick me up, and she looked really bad. She was suffering a lot, and I didn't want to go home to the reality of my mom being so sick. So in mid-may, we noticed that her speech was kinda messed up, so she had a scan done on her brain. Within a few days we found out that she had cancerous tumors in her brain. This news was absolutely devastating, but I kept strong and had high hopes for her survival. She was checked into the hospital and received radiation on her brain every day. I would visit her before work every morning and come by every night after work to say goodnight. I enjoyed every minute of seeing her. Mothers day she spent in the hospital, which was sad, but she had family with her. Within a few weeks her health kept getting worse and worse, and I couldn't believe it. Her oncologist talked to my dad about getting her into hospice--help for the terminally ill. The day my dad had the hospice bed, porta-john, and wheelchair put into our living room, I was hit so hard. Reality was coming extremely fast. So we had her home from the hospital, but in a bed pretty much 24/7. I felt bad for going to work every day, but I still had hope that she would be okay. My dad said that the bed could be temporary, so I had hope in that. Well, one day I came home from work and I could tell something was wrong. My dad came up to me and said that my mom was not well. I went to my mom's side and she was talking about how she was "in the process of dying." Those words hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldn't believe it...my mom was preparing to die. I couldn't help but cry and cry. I had hope for the whole time, and now it was gone. The hospice nurse explained to us that she thought my mom would die that night. I was absolutely devastated, crushed, just...torn apart. I spent the next few days with my mom, off work, talking to her and holding her hand. She made it through the night and kept going and going, actually holding on for longer than anyone thought. I got to say my "last goodbye" to her, which was heart wrenching. I told her that I thought she was the best mom ever, but she couldn't respond to me. She couldn't even talk, or squeeze my hand. She had gotten worse so quickly. Every night that I went up to bed I really just wanted to stay downstairs with her. I wanted to hug her so tight, to lay by her side and just hold her...but I couldn't because she was so fragile. On june 6th, at 8:30 p.m., she stopped breathing. She was gone. And I can't begin to describe the emotions I felt then or those that I still feel right now. Everything went by at lightning speed. I had lost my mom forever, and it was the most horrible feeling that I had ever experienced in my life. Seeing her dead body just lay there was overwhelming and unbelievable. Then when the people came to take the body away, I had trouble letting it go...even though she was already gone. It was the last tangible thing I had that was her. I cried just as hard when they took her body away. The memorial service was a week later, and I gave a speech there. I just said what I had been thinking for so long...and I made everyone in the audience cry. It was a moving event, and I'm glad I spoke. I started working for the photo studio a few weeks later. I still miss my mom so much. I still cry a lot, I'm still very sad. I just wish that this whole thing could not have happened. I can't believe my mom is gone.

So I've been really busy with work and summer classes, which keeps my mind off of sadness. I'm getting into photography more, but I still have limited time. I hope you guys enjoy my photos as I upload them.

Sorry this post has been so long...and thanks for reading if you're still with me! Just remember...PLEASE remember...to always cherish your mom, no matter what, because there is one true fact that is so obvious but that so many people seem to forget or take for granted--and that is the fact that you only have ONE mom...and once she is gone, she is gone. Here is a quote that I read at my mom's memorial service:

"Most of all the other beautiful things in life come by twos and threes, by dozens and hundreds. Plenty of roses, stars, sunsets, rainbows, brothers and sisters, aunts and cousins, comrades and friends - but only one mother in the whole world."
-- Kate Douglas Wiggin